I have so much I want to share with you all (or as Rob would say, ‘y’all’). That’ll never happen for me, just like ‘wicked’ will never happen for him. Forming sentences into thoughts without a pencil has been difficult lately. I am so used to putting pen to paper and formulating my thoughts at a slower pace. To sit down in front of a computer and pluck away at the keys just seems less intimate and less true to myself and my personality. But when I have limited time and a lot to share, it will have to suffice.
Life has been an absolute whirlwind these last few days since I moved into the trailer, but it’s a transition that I have been excited to embrace. Thankfully, packing up basically my entire life into a few small suitcases was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Compartmentalizing my needs and necessities continuously became easier in my four years of college. When I was a freshman, I felt like I needed to have absolutely everything with me. Come senior year, and I packed more decorations than I did belongings.
Now, I have a twin sized couch with my belongings wedged underneath it in various plastic, rolling boxes. For the first couple of days, I had to climb under the table to grab my underwear but today, we installed shelves above my “bed” so I can just slide the boxes off. It’s working well. Small adjustments here and there but we are getting the hang of it.
The last time I saw my ex, he told me something that will stick with me forever. When you become complacent in your life, it’s time for change. He related that to being in the Navy and how he had become really good at his job. Yet, he was pursuing a different career choice. I immediately posed the question, “If you’re good at it and like what you do, why do you want to change it?”
Complacency. If you’re not being challenged enough, you won’t grow.
When I was first offered this job, or offered myself to this job, that was the first thing that came to mind. Life was good, life was fun. But it was easy. And I didn’t want easy. I wanted challenge and adventure. More than I wanted it, I craved it so intensely I found myself avoiding job applications and headhunters because in my mind, I couldn’t fathom the idea of sitting behind a desk all day.
In my eyes, Rob lived the dream that I always wanted. And now, by some series of extremely fortunate events, I too get to live out this dream.
“No matter where life takes me, find me with a smile,” – Mac Miller R.I.P. 1992 – 2018